R. BENYAMIN CIRLIN, CSW: Patricia makes a good point there that today people really don't tend to think of grief, as she said, in a linear way. People, I think, more often tend to think that grieving presents us with tasks, that there is certain work that we have to engage in in order to work through a loss. The first task really has to do with accepting the reality, that it's really true, a recognition that a life has changed. The second task, for the most part, has to do with coming to terms with all the pain. The third task is learning to adjust to a new environment in which roles change. The fourth task really is about finding a new relationship with the deceased person and finding new sources of meaning in life.
LISA CLARK: In your work with people who are suffering loss, does it matter at what point they enter this phase of starting to deal with the issue of someone dying, whether it's a matter of months they have to come to terms with this or whether it's a sudden event? Is there a difference in the period of time that they enter this process that helps them process what's going on, what the loss is going to be like?
R. BENYAMIN CIRLIN, CSW: I think that the more that people can begin to deal with it as someone is dying, in the long run, the better off they will be. Anticipatory grief is really about a dance between holding on -- staying with the person, still having a relationship -- and slowly letting go -- beginning to think about what life is going to be like without this person here. It's a difficult dance to do.
